hmmm

After reading some archives back from 2007, I realized the style of writing here on my blog has changed quite a bit. Not necessarily in a way that is good or bad, but in the sense that I am more reluctant to share the intimate details of what is going on in my life or the thoughts that go through my head. Maybe it is because I don't want certain people to know certain things, or that the stuff I do at work is way too controversial to be detailed in public domain--the blog has eventually evolved into an update verses what use to be personal thoughts. Strange.

Though I did find another piece of me that forgot I had--the ability to self motivate. Pushing myself forward even though I feel tired is something that rarely happened in the past two years--definitely glad to have that back. I had a long day today, but every minute of work was totally worth my tiredness. Being tired is kind of like an alcohol buzz, except instead of becoming drunk, one just passes out cold.

hmmmmm......

2009 thus far

Had a whirlwind of day in no order:

-Ear infection
-hot doctor
-sleep
-awkward conversation
-awesome conversation
-beer, Doritos, hot water
-antibiotics
-new people
-manual
-plans to hit waves and the snow

I think 2009 is looking mighty fine already. (San ear infection woulda been nice, but not complaining!)

Reflections

"Moving on is not about never looking back. It is taking a glance at yesterday and noticing how much you've grown since then." --Anon.

I think the above quote really put what I have been feeling in the past couple of days in a nice little sentence. Though if it were up to me, I would insert a couple colorful expletives to make it more realistic and not seem as if I live in such bubble in which the sun shines every day and unicorns and puppies run free.

The year 2008 has been a year full of struggle and growth. The struggle to get to know my self again, and allowing the growth towards the person who I have always wanted to be. I was glad I agreed to the decision that was made this time last year--albeit a bitter and hurtful one--it made me, me again. I fought through this year with tears and pain, and I pulled through because of my determination and help of family and friends (new and old).

Small highlights in no particular order: better grades, a couple dates (rejected and got rejected), ocean kayaking, a new job, discovered new things about myself, welcome new friends and re-discovered old ones, started running...and a couple more that I'm sure will come to me eventually. :P

So family and friends, a very sincere thanks, I could not have done it without you guys. Here is to a brighter new year and to more maturity sans going through tears and pain (okay...fine...a little less would be nice for a change).

Goodbye 2008, and Hello 2009.

Letter to H.

Dear H,

I refuse to contact you, so don't try contacting me if all of sudden it strikes your fancy (I highly doubt it though). This will be the first and last time I directly address to you here, so here it goes. H., I never noticed how much of myself I lost during the seven years we were together, and how much it was becoming a toll to my(our respective) sanity back then. Now, though I am admitting that breaking up was the best thing that happened to us, it does not mean that I forgave you for all the shit you put me through. I hope that someday karma will bite you in your ass and that what I have been telling you for the past couple of years will finally go through that thick skull of yours. But at the same time, I wish you well. I hope that you will never put another girl in the position that you placed me in and that she will never have to suffer what I had to. I can confidently say that we will never be friends again, but I hope that one day in the far future, when we meet again in this small world of medicine and research that we will both be happy with our then significant others and chat cordially for the short (very short) duration. Till then, take care of yourself.

-A

Just another day

It is amazing how a couple measures of notes can do to a person. It is a happy day indeed. :)

3 more days... eep!

Happy Holidays!

A nice read from Dr. Rob reminding us what Christmas should really be about. :)

And starting today....7 day count down until I cut my hair. I'm giddy, excited and nervous all at once.

Love Story

"I Love You 'till The End" --The Pogues

I just want to see you
When you are all alone
I just want to catch you if I can
I just want to be there
When the morning light explodes
On your face it radiates
I cant escape
I love you till the end

I just want to tell you nothing
You don't want to hear
All I want is for you to say
Why don't you just take me
Where Ive never been before
I know you want to hear me
Catch my breath
I love you till the end

I just want to be there
When were caught in the rain
I just want to see you laugh not cry
I just want to feel you
When the night puts on its cloak
I'm lost for words don't tell me
All I can say
I love you till the end
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I wonder how many people are able to experience this. I, for example, someday hope that I have the guts and courage to love, live and believe once again.