Saw this and realized I wasn't the only one out there....

http://modelviewculture.com/pieces/i-didn-t-want-to-lean-out

Favoritist exchange last night

W. doing dishes in the kitchen. I walk in, stared at his butt and decided to make a few comments.

Me: "Damn, look at that fine ass! I'd definitely hit that!" (Proceeds to slap his butt)

W: Silence and then "....I think there is something inherently wrong about me doing dishes and you acting like a douche"

Me: "Well you know me, breaking gender stereotypes and all!  I'm gonna own that!" Slaps W's butt again for good measure. PUahahha.

Sleep Deprivation

This summer has been a summer of sleep deprivation.  Relatives and friends have been visiting one wave after another hence the attempt of maximizing amount of time spent socializing and resulting in minimal amount of sleep.

Good thing the end is in sight!  Sweet sweet slumber, how I miss thee.

  

A blow.

I received an e-mail this morning informing me that the project I had worked on for four years, was submitted to a high end journal, at the same time, letting me know that my authorship dropped from first to fourth within 6 months of leaving the lab.

There is a storm of mixed emotions running through me and I'm not even quite sure where to start. Jipped.  Pissed. Enraged.  Sadness.  Relief.

Jipped and pissed for the obvious reasons of dedicating four years of my life to get this project off the ground and running, and when it was close to fruition, someone came in and took it away. Sadness for not being there to see it go through, and sadness for seeing the data's reinterpretation.  And relief for no longer having to bear the burden that if this crashed and burned that I would have to carry the moral responsibility.... and I wonder if that is selfish and unkind of me to think this way.  Am I simply jealous?  Am I reacting because of anger?... I don't know, and frankly I don't want to analyze it too much.

I have already physically moved on.  It's like a bad relationship that one walks away from, yet can not help but feel a twinge of emotion (sadness?) when presented with evidence of past involvement.

This blow to the gut remain a lesson-always cover one's own back and always fight for one's right.  A hard one to take, but one I will keep close to my heart forever.

Life and the Return to Running

Wow, I can't believe the last time I updated was in March. Yikes.  I definitely have been slacking on the blogging front.  Probably should start organizing my thoughts again eh?

Shy of a year and half, my parents finally agreed to meet W in person.  I orchestrated dinner in a small Italian restaurant and wrangled with all the details of when to meet, where to meet...etc (parents are from out of town).  Counting down to the actual event I was pretty nervous, I mean this was something that I've been wanting to happen 3 months into the relationship, but wasn't able to since my parents weren't able to get over the fact that W is of another race! Big deal?  HECK YA!  However on the other hand, W and my parents did not share the nervousness. So I felt like a dork all week fretting over stuff and W just keep telling no worries, he's got it. 

On the day of, I was picked up by my parents and told W to meet us at the Italian restaurant.  As I walked up to the restaurant, I see W with a bouquet of flowers standing at the entrance waiting for us. Haircut? Check.  Decent clothes?  Check.  Long pants?  Check. Shoes? Flipflops. OMG what the hell are those doing here?  That's right.  W wore flipflops....to meet my parents for the first time.  Facepalm.  

Both my parents ended up not enjoying themselves because they couldn't really understand what W was saying and also eating way too fast ending up with a stomach ache.  W was super nervous and ended up speaking way too fast to my already comprehension challenged parents.  All in all....it was only short of a disaster, since we later found out that the flowers W gave my mom were the type of flowers one would give at a Chinese funeral.  Oops. 

The silver lining in all of this is that my parents aren't particularly adverse to meeting W again at a future date, even though they tell me that I should date around more and treat W as just a friend. Hah. Yea. No thanks. 

Anyways, so about a month ago, I'd figured, what are the chances of actually winning a single ticket going into the raffle for the Nike Women's SF Half Marathon?  Not very high right?  Meh, I entered for the sake of entering anyways.  

A month later...

Yay!!! and...Oh crap!  Were the only thoughts that ran through my head when I saw that. 

I suppose I'm going back to training with these pretties!  <3 p="">

Change of Pace

It has been exactly 1 month and 10 days since I quit science.

I miss it and then I don't.

I lived and breathed science for the past 10+ years, it is only normal that I feel a twinge of loss and longing for those comfortable conversations of  protein pathways and recalcitrant cancer stem cells right?

Otherwise, I think I'm doing just fine now as an office person, with her own office, doing her own work, and hopefully one day get a higher degree and move on with life.

The first quarter of this year has been challenging to say the least. Good and bad.  I discovered who people really are, people I thought to be friends weren't friends, and people I thought to be mere acquaintances turned out to be really supportive friends.  W and I hit our one year mark, and aside from celebrating a great year together we are starting to realize that in order for us to go further in the long run, there are a lot more things we need to work through.  Relationships are hard work.  I am also starting to set boundaries for me when conversing and dealing with my parents. They, naturally, are pushing back...but I'm attempting to stand firm and learning how much I am willing to give and how much I'm not willing to give.

Eating and exercise for me during this time has pretty much fallen to crap.  Definitely something that needs to picked up again.  Now that I have found a new equilibrium in life and goals mentally, I need myself to match up physically again.

Hopefully with this change of pace, I will begin recording my thoughts again.  Despite having only like 2 readers, I do miss you little blog. Here is to making this year count!

Cranky

I've been quite cranky lately due to that time of the month closing in.

This morning, the cranky and grumpy meter was dialed all the way to high, closing in on danger explosion level.  Whilst glaring at all the inanimate objects in sight, I saw some chocolate; next thing I knew, I was opening the wrappers.

Two bites in.....OMMG HOW COME I NEVER LIKED CHOCOLATE BEFORE??????? THIS IS AMAZING CRACK!!!.....

Now I'm much better.


The end.