New PR

Yei!!!!! 12:47 minutes a mile!

Not too shabby for a new run after being out for a week thanks to illness. Go go go!

Running update

So at the thought of not wanting to break training despite illness, I went on an easy run today. A couple minutes in, I felt I could push a bit, but as I started to increase speed I starting having weird stomach cramps so I slowed down and trotted at turtle pace for the remaining run.

2.01 miles in 35 minutes. Definitely taking it easy. :)

Alright, off to shower and bed. Must not be late to work tomorrow or D. will have my head.

Tittering on the edge of illness

For the past couple of days I've been skimming on the edge of a viral infection thanks to my boss who graciously shared her virus while working together in her office. But hopefully by staying home and doing almost close to nothing today would be enough to ward it off for a while. Sleep, staying warm, and doses of propalis will be my attempt at keeping this stupid virus at bay.

With the combination of not feeling well, it definitely makes it hard to go out and run...I'm afraid that if I do push again I will just end up spending the next two weeks trying to recover from a cold. SIGH. I resent winter occasionally, I mean seriously, I live in Sol Cal where it is suppose to be sunny and nice ALL THE TIME, what is wrong with this weather?

Anyways, after working on work at home for a couple of hours, I decided to bake me some blueberry muffins. How they turn out? I don't know, I'm currently waiting for them to cool down for me before I even attempt to taste one--one too many burnt tongues will definitely teach ya. Verdict: A bit too much lemon but overall has a nice crunchy and moist contrast. 7.5 out of 10.

Alrighty, shower and bed!

Push my buttons and I will explode

I am surprised that I even lasted so long. Little to no dinner last night, and then a 8 hour work day power fueled by 2 cups of tea, and 2 bagels with a bit of cream cheese--with no rest in between. I was ravenous when I got home, and on the brink of a mental meltdown if I didn't shove food down my throat asap. But meltdown mode I went since A. insisted on confronting me on a disagreement we had last night, even though I warned her to let me eat first. After a handful of slamming doors, tears (on her part), I shoved food down my throat grudgingly and pissed off as hell.

Now, a couple hours later, where the sugar has been properly absorbed and my stomach is satiated I'm still annoyed buy also extremely aware at how exhausted I am. Yet at the same time, I can't ring myself to shower, and go to bed. I fell like I should be doing something....what? I don't know.

My day started out with Mumford and Sons at the local Starbucks with the really cute red head barista; only fitting that end my day having the Mumford and Sons lure me to sleep.

No running, hopefully I'll be able to get out tomorrow! G'night ya'll

Saturday

I spent a good part of this morning toting visiting scholars from Taiwan (from work) around town to the fish market (that was more than a little bit disappointing), and to Balboa Park. For the whole duration of the morning, all I could hear was blah, blah, blah, and more blah. I think I'm becoming more and more disconnected with the Taiwanese society, such that their behavior grates on my nerves a bit.

The wife, who is a petite tiny little thing, wanted to take a picture with me. But what really got on my nerves was the fact when we started to pose for the picture, she hid about 80% of her body behind me instead of standing side by side with me. Now, I'm by no means huge, but the mentally of having to look "tiny" with me and doing whatever she could to make her self look "good" to appear great in the picture irritated me to no end. I suppose If I didn't know the Taiwanese/Asian mentality of girls in which they have to look tiny and are willing to go extremes to look skinny no matter the cost, it wouldn't have bothered me as much--at moments, I wanted to scream, you are in freaking AMERICA! STOP IT. But such is life, I'm just glad today was a lesson learned and no longer will I ask them to accompany me on my social outings.

I stopped running for the past two days, and today I gently eased back into it again and I was surprised how easily my body adjusted to the workout. 16miles down, and only 14 more miles to log before the end of this month! I told myself that if I find my self running still when December pasts, I will gift myself with a new pair of running shoes! Speaking of shoes, drools, there are so many pairs of shoes to die for this season! Pumps, heels, boots, and sneakers! Why am attracted to so many things??? They aren't even shiny!

Hopefully by next summer, I'll feel the most comfortable in my own skin than I ever have been, and squeeze into a wetsuit with no problem. Go! Go! Go!

Krispy Kreame

Is what was for breakfast, amongst other snacks during the day. The only healthy meal I had for the day was lunch.

No run, just stretches and some more hula hooping.

Tomorrow, run I shall.

A capella

Singing is good, walking two miles is good, going to sleep is even better.

g'night

Woohoo!

The weather has started to dropped in Sandy Eggo recently...yes yes yes, I am well aware that 56 F isn't really THAT cold, but for us that live in the sunny Sol Cal, it is COLD. Anyways, after a very long day that included trying to siphon 19 gallons of water from an incubator unsuccessfully, working with data and feeling that nothing else was done, and walking around work on a caffeine high I was ready to shower and go straight to bed once I got home. But somehow the running bug kept, for lack of better words, bugging me, I put my trainers on and braved the weather to the gym for a run.

And boy, am I glad that I forced myself to go out on a run! After a week and half of starting to run again, I was able to run 2 miles in 28min and 47 seconds!!! Woohoo!! that is like average 1 mile per 14.23 minutes!!! YAY! I can finally run 2 miles within 30 minutes. Hurrah!!! I'm so excited! I understand this probably won't be the same case tomorrow, but none the less I would like to pat myself on my back. :)

Maybe that goal of 30 miles a month might just be doable after all.

Fatigue

The soreness from yesterday's yoga is definitely carrying through and every raising movement I have my arms do make me wince and hiss. I suppose this really means that I stretched my muscles good yesterday! Hopefully this elasticity will be ingrained in muscle memory and today's rest will only mean that I will be able to do more next time.

Due to fatigue, I forgo-ed today's run. >_< I will definitely get back on the treadmill tomorrow!!! My goal for this month will be running for a total of 30 miles. Assuming that I will keep the current pace up through Thanksgiving festivities I will definitely make it!

Go! Go! Go!

Recently at work, it has been an interesting ride; ex supervisor constantly dropping in left and right, co workers getting vacation whenever they wish for, and some co-workers slacking their ass off while getting praised and me on the other side working and just looking at them in bewilderment. Life can be a bit biased at times.

Hopefully the pendulum of fairness will swing my way soon. Sigh. Till then, Allie, just keep running, writing, reading and staying true to yourself!

Yoga = Soreness

Today, instead of running, I went to do Bikram Yoga. Yoga totally kicked my butt. Returning from a hiatus of 2 weeks and jumping in after a night of partying at friend's wedding does not equal a very happy body.

For the most part I was able to make it through the class, but after class I just felt like a puddle of jelly, and muscle soreness in every fiber I possess. Blah. Tomorrow it will be a toss up between going to yoga again or getting my ass out there/on a treadmill and running again. In all honesty, I would much prefer running, however I bought a couple classes and they do need to be used up soon, dilemmas dilemmas.

I suppose it all depends on how everyone else (I have buddies) feels by the end of the day.

Aside from soreness, I manage to clean up the apartment, do laundry, and bake an apple cinnamon cake with cream cheese frosting! Yum.

Hope ya'll had a great day!

Update

Today I don't have much to say. Other than the fact that I am exhausted from work and working out for the past couple of days. I feel a bit weak that my body is caving so easily. Is this because I am not sleeping normal hours?

Hopefully this will change tomorrow...except tomorrow is the big day for a friend of mine and I have to go early to help set up for his wedding. Poohie, I hope I don't dissolve into a puddle of mush and cranky-ness from being too tired.

That and I really really need to find time to go do more yoga.

Off to bed.

NaBloPoMo

Well, apparently when I heard about NaBloPoMo, it is already 4 days in. I suppose minus 4 entries in a month wouldn't be too bad; that and I suppose I can make it up by blogging 4 days into Dec. :)

Anyways, I decided to start running again thanks to Ben, from Ben Does Life, and Dr. Mama. I suppose starting to ease myself back to the running business is a bit hard, but with inspiration from those two cool cats, it would be a shame on me if I didn't at least gave it a go...again.

Last time when I started, I just ended a painful and depressing 7 year relationship. Overweight and depressed, I knew I had to do something to help myself get out of that funk and make it easier to breathe, so after reading Dr. Mama's posts, I ran.

This time, I am doing it for myself, for my health and for vanity. I want to wear a size 6 dress and not have to worry about sucking my tummy in or have to try to avoid the camera as much as I can. I want to be able to say, "yea I did a 5 mile run today, it felt good" in conversations. But most of all I want to look fucking amazing for once during my twenties (and keep it up), not just cute/adorable (the most common compliment I receive when I go out).

The logging of miles started this past Monday, 4.75 miles and counting.

Wish me luck bloggy world!

Hollow.....thoughts

People say that time heals all wounds, and the pain that associates will gradually fade. It has been a couple months and the sadness and helplessness still vibrates through every fiber of my being. Strange isn't it? Or are we just saying a couple months just isn't enough for pain and the helplessness that one feels to fade?

What do I want? I think part of me is envious at my friends who have something that I don't have and know I definitely cannot force--a relationship. It also doesn't help that said friends feel like that once they have their new buddy (significant other) they are free to just disappear from my life.

Sigh, I'm being whiny as of late, but I suppose I have also earned my right to due to large work load. I want this to stop! Work Karma pulease!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Such a Pretty Face

I just finished reading the book, Such a Pretty Face, by Cathy Lamb and all I want to do is cry. Cry for the fictional characters, cry for their lives, and cry tears of joy for the lives that they will hopefully lead.

I'm a sucker for happy endings. I'm a firm believer that good always, ALWAYS triumphs evil in the end, but sometimes the process of getting there kind of sucks. I can't but help but think about her struggles compared to mine. The one problem that stems from fluctuations of self confidence, self image, and I think most of all, self love.

It is amazing how we are all different, yet so similar when we are bound by the structure dictated by society.

Hopefully, one day, I too will have my happy ending.

Anticipation

The past couple of weeks have been not only a blur, but also a complete shut down of anything fun, social, and relaxing. Somehow amongst all the chaos, I manage to squeeze in a Vegas weekend and a night to do laundry. I have to say, looking back, I'm quite impressed with myself. The only small thing that would have made me more impressed would be if I had prepared all the food I needed for lunch and not had to buy lunch from the Cafeteria.

As I write this now, the fried rice for lunch this coming week is done, grapes are currently sitting in the sink waiting to be drained, and I am here, sitting on my couch waiting for the beets to cook. The pulsing of the dishwasher joined with the steady rhythm of beets boiling makes a soothing melody for an exhausted soul.

One thing that has been freaking me out as of late is the sudden explosion of friends getting engaged, married, or having babies. If I’m honest with myself, it feels as if they are passing swimmingly by in their life, making the milestones one right after each other whilst I stay stationary, hovering on my own road. Concurrently, I also envy and wish that there was that someone for me. Someone who accepts and loves me as who I am, who will tell me its okay to feel pain, but I will work through it because he knows I can; most of all, someone that just gets me. But my friends have that, and I don’t—that is the current hard fact and there is nothing I can do for myself at the moment but to accept it.

Two girls who I held dear to my heart, found their counterparts and then disappeared from my life. It was almost as if our friendship was only a temporary filler. I suppose, close friends are just not to be destined to be a constant in my life either. I will survive being alone, but it doesn't mean that I like to.

I don't know what is to come in the upcoming months and it scares me a little bit. As always, there is much to do, and little time. This whole working the whole year and no break is definitely taking its toll. All I can do is pray for the end, and hopefully there will be a little bit of sunshine during this week.

Summer Bells

For some odd reason, fb, the social network of mine has been exploding with announcements of former high school friends getting hitched.

Have they all been drinking from the same well of water?

Dude...this is like the year of marriage or something. Crazy.

Glitter in the Air

While doing the dishes today, I was seduced by Glitter in the air. It was not the first time I have encountered this song-the first time was during the Grammy performance-yet somehow this second go around was able to capture my attention and entrance.

Two years ago, I was frustrated. Frustrated at what to do with my life and frustrated with my relationship with my family. Two years later from then, I don't feel anymore different. It seems as times goes on, I become wiser (I'd like to think that), but the problems that come with the territories also evolve. Such is life I suppose. Funny thing is that whilst I feel frustrated with the majority of my life, I am also at the same time very content in all the changes I made so far. Make sense? Talk about a feeling of contradiction. One step at a time; one can only ask that in all fairness.

Today I finally finished unpacking. Everything is in its' new place and neatly stored away. There are no words to describe the amount of relief that floods me that I am finally have a place to call home--my own.

Also, this secret today made me smile. It is nice to know that someone else out there feels the same way I do.

Wrong baby Wrong

"Is it better than the one you tried at Pizza Port?" he asks.

Caught off guard, I sputtered in a whisper "No, but it is much creamier."

"What?" He leaned in closer

"No, but this one is much creamier." I replied in a louder voice.

My cheeks start to flare, but whether due to the stout that I ingested on an empty stomach a couple minutes before or from embarrassment of him asking me of a private moment of ours in front of his new date, I would never know.

Him bringing the girl to our social gathering nailed the final nail on the coffin of anything that would ever hint to happen. And surprisingly, it hurt a bit on my behalf.

Unbeknownst to me, myself and I, I fell a teeny tiny bit in love (or crush, however you want to see it as) in the past month but in the past week or so, every possibility of that that crush was ripped into shreds. Ah, when will I ever learn?

Not knowing him that well, I will just assume from now on, everything we have done together was simply friends meeting out for a quick meal and enjoying each others company and no more. I just hope I can hold these thoughts the next time he leans in and gets close.

Wrong baby wrong. In so many ways.

Excitement

I'm on a high. Currently residing in a new city for a couple days in the name of work and am absolutely loving it. Tomorrow will be my one day off of this 5 day 4 night long conference and I am absolutely ecstatic about being able to walk around in the city and do a bit of site seeing.

I've always wanted to visit D.C. ever since I wrote a 20 page long report about the Viet Vets back in middle school. I don't know why I felt so strongly about it back then but I do; it is almost like the memorial itself is begging me to go visit it every since then. Sure, I have forgotten about this longing that I had way back when, but when I was browsing the map and mapping out my route I saw it and I just HAD to work it in my tour.

So now I sleep and I will check out the city tomorrow on foot.

New Chapter

I am about to embark on a chapter in my life where the possibilities of networking and exploring different cities are becoming a reality. I'm completely terrified yet ecstatic at this prospect and what this new point of view of the world will bring me.

OMFG, I'm freaking out a bit.

Hopefully I'll make it through this ordeal alive.

Home

How can one not fall in love with this? I'm so happy I can call this city home.

Strange situations

I think I may have been asked out on a date for lunch tomorrow.

I say may have been because the circumstances that predate this date were not your normal "guy likes girl, guy ask girl out for lunch" scenario. SIGH. I guess I will provide a bit more details as the situation plays out as a whole and see if I can pull off what I need to pull off tomorrow. Suffice to say, I am way too self conscious and a bit worried about matters at hand. Matters including the boy being younger, complicating matters if something does happen and creating gossip for others.

So please wish me luck and that everything will be okay.

:)

A post that I want to remember:

A Valentine's Story

A Happy Reminder

Every time I watch this video, I just can't resist a smile.

I simply just need to remember there are good things out there and I not only I need to keep hope, but also have a more positive outlook on life.

Life continues

Work has been a bit frustrating lately. A big change is coming and yet the simple experiments I need to do are met with annoying obstacles that force me to bend, crawl, and even beg for permission to even proceed. It is almost as if people are testing my limits and whether if I would be able to shoulder and handle the responsibilities given to me at the tender age of 23 going on 24. I have full confidence I am able to handle the obstacles that work is throwing at me, but at the constant rate of problems occurring, I'm not going to lie.... it is getting to me and wearing me down. Where is the effing support man? Oops, I forgot...there is none.

Constantly dealing with people who think they are above others and force others that are "below" them to jump through hoops and over fire just for their amusement or using them for their advantage is just a sadistic sentiment at best I believe.

I was looking back on my last post....and I think I'd have a higher chance of kissing TJ Thyne than I do kissing a boy before the new year. Haha. Delusions, natural by product of stress. WOOt.

SIGH. Hopefully the weekend comes soon and I can simply pass out and munch on cookies. Now don't ask me which one comes first or how I do it...that just requires too many brain cells to operate at the moment.

Current thoughts

The year of the ox is finally coming to an end, and soon the year of the tiger will descend. At the moment my mood is drastically whimsical. One moment I am hard core scientist working night and day, and the next I am dreaming about the possibilities of meeting the guy of my dreams, and then poof! I am diligent daughter catering to the demands of her parents.

Who am I? Where am I going? What am I doing? Do I have what it takes to compete with other people in what I want to do? How much do I want it? So far in my life, I realize most of my accomplishments came not because I actively seek them out, but they were rather situations in which I was forced to apply myself and there were not any opportunities for me to turn back.

I think I've been way too busy lately, so busy and tired to the point where the patient and cool collective exterior that I pride myself of having is starting to have cracks and the whiney and easily irritable me is attempting to seize every single moment of opportunity to come out. So many things to do, yet not enough time to do it. Some issues that are out of my reach and some issues that are just plain unattainable by me.

Suppose I just need time to myself in where I can just do the things that I want to do and not worry about the responsibilities. Sigh, sometimes in life, even these simple pleasures are hard to come by.

Pre Chinese New Year resolution - be more organized, kiss a guy, and jump into work 110%.

Sometimes

In a span of 24 hours I have been on an emotionally roller coaster ride that is one minute uplifting, the next gut wrenching and then ending with my heart cracking a little.

Such is life. Never discriminating against the good nor the bad whilst making sure that there is a little bit of both sprinkled all around. Though I do not have the power to make all things bad, good, it definitely does not negate the fact and the powerful urge that I have in which I WANT to.

To hear bad news from people that I absolute adore and to read a story that would absolutely break my heart if I was there in person just simply makes me want to cry for them. I want to shed their tears for them so badly, to embrace them and lessen their burden such so they don't have to carry it alone.

But all I can do now is just pray, and hope that their pain will lessen soon and that tomorrow will be a brighter day. I mean, didn't someone say that the only good thing about looking towards the future is that it comes a day at a time.

Adventures: Part II

People were not kidding when they say that Rio is a city that seduces. Well at least I have been properly seduced after only a four day stay in the city. The funny thing is that during my four day stay, I did nothing of what a tourist would normally do. Visiting the Sugar Loaf, making the trek to the Christ, and celebrating New Years on Copacabana beach were simply lists, and lists they stayed.

I met and stayed with friends, and simply enjoyed their company and what normal city life had to offer in Rio. Partly why our itinerary had to change from tourist mode into Carioca mode was due to the heavy slate of rain that was bombarding the city during the time we were there. Funnily enough, the heavy rain was stopped by a cobra witch and the city rejoiced by celebrating New Years' in her name and let loose an onslaught of fireworks. Good times.

New Years' eve was full of laughter, food, champagne, and in the company of the most awesome people one can ever ask for. I pray that our respective new year will pan out to be greater than the last and that all our dreams and wishes come true to our benefits.

To 2010!