As the Heart Is

On the life front:

These past couple months have been a roller coaster of events and emotions.  In January, I made up my mind to finally quit my job and move home to study for the GMAT at the end of August.  No job, no income, leave my friends and life here in SD, go home and study.  Simple no?

Alas, things in life are never easy and never go as planned.  Little did I know, March came and brought along a boy (W.) that would steal my heart away and be almost* everything I wished for in a boyfriend.

I knew I was doomed when April, May, and June passed and the more we felt like friends and lovers that have known each other for most of our lives, and yet, just met.  Late June, and early July, we went on a 20+hour road trip to visit his friends and family, and came back with a much deeper appreciation for one another.

Crap. Was the only thought going through my head when in mid July, I was watching August fast approaching on the horizon, knowing that I had to make a decision fast and soon about leaving San Diego.  From the beginning, my parents haven't really approved of this relationship - why?  Because he was of another ethnicity than I was.  I saw a side of my parents that I never thought (believed) they had - racist.  They admit it and are reluctant to budge.  Even the thought of wanting to introduce the boy to the family was met with rejection and disdain.  Sigh.  Keeping this reaction of my parents in mind, I knew there would be no way I'd be able to move home and continue this relationship**.

After quite a few sleepless nights, I decided to still quit my current job, but stay in San Diego for the time being and study here instead.  Yes, I'd be living off of my savings for a few months, but that is a small price to pay for independence and the freedom to see where this relationship would go.  And perhaps, in the mean time, find another job that is slightly less demanding and would allow me an opportunity to be able to enjoy life and prepare myself for the next stage of life.  I can't stay a lab tech forever!

I gave a month's notice last Friday.  My boss was surprisingly supportive and told me that I should go home and think again of my options; she was willing to let me work part time if it came to it.  I told her I would meet again with her in a week and give her my answer.


On the running front:

Oh gawds, the last time I ran was when I was visiting W.'s family in early July.  Since then due to family drama, tired of running, and the stress of making all these big life decisions I have been completely out of commission on the running front.

I have a half marathon coming up in 12 days, with a time limit of 3 hours.  Fudge.   I finally dragged my sorry butt out for a 1 miler since I wasn't quite sure how far I'd be able to make - 11:24 was my time.  Not too shabby I suppose for a month+ hiatus.  Tomorrow, I will be trying for 2 miles.  Wish me luck!


On blogging front:

I will definitely start to update more, now that big things have died down a bit I will be gearing up for studying mode - any type of procrastination is welcomed, right?  Oh dear.





*He is mostly perfect, however still gotta work on a couple things no?  Life is good, but it ain't THAT GOOD.  ;)

**I hope in time, they will eventually accept and see him for him, and not his skin color or heritage background if this relationship does progress in the direction that both W. and I want to see it go.

Cupid - Daniel Powter

Song of the moment. :)


Running is going strong; I finished my first 10k last week, and will be doing the Warrior Dash later on this week.  I also joined a cross fit gym and despite the all sorts of pain, I'm getting stronger, leaner and becoming a much better runner. One day, I'll work up the courage to run that marathon!

Why I run

"Our running shoes are really erasers. Every step erases some memory of a past failure. Every mile brings us closer to a clean slate. Each foot strike rubs away a word, a look, or an event which led us to believe that success was beyond our grasp." - John Bingham

Why hello there new shoes.  I foresee a lot of running time together in the near future.  

Oh and yes, I'm a penguin.  Why do you ask?  ;)

Officially Half Crazy

My first half marathon was everything I thought it to be and so much more.  Due to not being able to run for the past 2 weeks thanks to travelling and jetlag, I decided to run with my sister and finish our first half together. 

I could go into so much more detail, but I wouldn’t want to bore you with how hungry I was at mile 6 and on and discovering that the promised Gu by the organization by mile 4 and 9 didn’t show, how badly I needed to pee at mile 9 but didn’t want to go because I was “almost there”, and mostly how grateful I am that I have this opportunity to do something pretty insane (okay, half insane, we’ll use the whole word for the full) for myself.

Today, one day after, sore as hell waddling all over the place, I signed up for my second half.  

I will be aiming to run all three half marathons in SoCal this calendar year and earn the Triple Crown metal (Oh Look! 4 for the price of 3!!! I can never resist a good deal)

I think I finally get it.  Get why everyone is so crazy about this sport called running.  It may have started out as a method of cheap weight loss, but it has turned into something much much more.  You name it: stress reliever, pain in the rear (literally and figuratively), alone time, endorphin rush…but most importantly of all - self validation and confidence. 

Hello, my name is Alice, and I am a runner and I hope to see you on the road.

Negative split

This was too cool to not show.

My first true negative split!!!!!!! Hopefully this is the first of many to come.

To Amanda, Thanks for your thoughts and prayers! I appreciate it. :)

Radio Silence

It has been a while since I last posted. Suffice to say, I've missed writing and running. To me, these two activities always go hand in hand. If I've been running, more likely than not, I will be writing posts and documenting my thoughts. People have said that running is meditative, and to me, I have come to realize it rings true--it is a time where I have to myself and able to tune out frustrations from my environment and really listen to the needs of me.

So what broke my previous so called meditative streak? Just one word: Work. Averaging 60 hour work weeks (while only being paid for 40), having multiple responsibilities to juggle on hand while having to deal with all sorts of crazy people can definitely leave one exhausted and ready to crash every evening when one returns home. Not to mention combine with the dark nights, and cold temperatures (high forties late afternoons) are not exactly the best motivation and lead in for a mental peptalk to go out for a run.

The stress from work and lack of exercise lead to eating whatever was in viewing distance and not really thinking about whether consuming said food was a good idea or not. In result, I gained 5lbs. *sigh* And they wonder why the relationship between stress and weight gain is proportional; positive slope all the way baby.

Since Monday, I've decided to pack my own lunches and started eating more healthy snacks and meals. Today, I went out for a short mile run to see if I still gots the running chops that I earned over this past year--and discovered yea, a glimpse of it is still there. Hopefully I will be able to keep this well up into the new year, after all, I have a half marathon to conquer.

Here to hope that I can finish strong this year and start a new year with more confidence than the previous.

Hope everyone is doing well in the blogsphere!

A date with oneself

After quite the anticipation, I'm currently on my vacation, visiting a childhood friend in SF. Since friend K. had to work an evening shift today, I was free to roam around Golden Gate park and the streets surrounding it.

Cruising around the streets of SF with K. earlier in the morning

I first attempted a light jog through the park but was quickly stunned by the simple beauty of the park and then promptly distracted by all the squirrels that were scattered along all the trails and coming up to me every other minute, with hunger in their eyes, hoping that I would toss them something edible. Like the true athlete I am, I gave up my run and went for a walk instead. I figured if I went slow enough, I'd be able to enjoy the scenery around me and get to bask briefly in the warm Nor Cal sun.

Strolling through the park, listening to quacking/chirping of birds, watching the sparkles reflecting off the surface of the lake, and just being able to walk or sit there to my hearts content was definitely quite the treat. No rush, no time limit, no body to meet. Absolutely perfect.

I realized that travelling alone forces myself to listen to those thoughts inside my head. To listen inwards, to listen to my heart, my instincts, my likes and dislikes....basically just me, myself and I.

It is nice to just have a date with oneself in a while. Not only it can be quite refreshing, but it is surprisingly meditative. I wonder why I don't do this more often?

Possibility of first of many firsts

Due to my strained calf/muscle/tendon what have you, I thought maybe the shoes that I currently am running in might be the reason that exacerbates the tightness that is reserved especially for my lower left leg.

So, I decided to bite the metaphorical bullet and walk into my local running gear store and ask them to fit me for a pair of running shoes. However, after a quick assessment, and (slightly painful) manipulations on my calf, they sent me out the store with a reference for a masseuse and a cheery wave saying that I should come back after I see her.

Instead of purchasing a new pair of running shoes, I ended up meeting a masseuse and allowing myself to be touched by someone I've never meet before. I have to say, granted it felt weird initially, my masseuse was incredibly friendly and she herself was an accomplished swimmer and runner to boot! During the whole session, not only I got my muscles worked on, I also learned so much more about running races in general.

Now, my whole body just feels like it is on a fluffy cloud and I'm able to walk without feeling tension in my legs. AMAZING! I might just have to start a massage fund on the side so I'll be able to make this a monthly event.

Anyways, prior getting side tracked...what I really wanted to say, from the runner/workers at the local running store, to my masseuse....not only they were generous with their advice to a newbie like me they were all so nice!

Even though I didn't get a new pair of shoes (will get em soon though), I got something even better. AND, maybe the rumor tis true....runners are a bunch of nice people!

Dumb dumb-ness

So, I pulled/strained a muscle on my lower calf (or ankle) after my long run yesterday.

Not before, not during, but AFTER. *TEARS* I'm only on week 2 training for my half and this genius thing happens when I was stretching after my run. I guess the upside of the coin is that most likely it is a muscle (not ligament) since I can still move my foot in all sorts of directions and there is no swelling...just can't really put too much weight on it for long. (Thanks co-workers for diagnosing me!) And the injury should be okay in about a week if I promise to not to make it do too much work. *crosses fingers* Wish me luck!

On a happier note... I ran four miles!!! I amaze myself in what my body is able to do. After the run, before I started stretching...I was like....did I just run 4 miles? Damn I'm good. And the rest......you guys already know from above.

Oh, also, Fall is here!!!! Hello pumpkin spice latte and hot cocoa!

And it begins...

I realized in the past two weeks that whenever I stop posting, it also seems like I stop running as well. Then like a positive feed back loop, the vicious cycle will continue until I decided that it is enough sluggishness for me and do something about it.

Labor day weekend activities that brought me out of my "funk" so to speak were the following: (not so) hot yoga, paddle boarding, hanging out with visiting high school friends, and most of all, running a mile (still sore from paddle boarding).

So tonight I sit here in front of the computer, pensive; despite knowing that this coming short week will be crazy, I somehow feel alright about it. Last minute change of travel plans, need to get started on presentation for Portugal, planning experiments, dinner parties for friends birthdays....etc...and the list goes on. So many things, so little time.

Like running, one step at a time and one breath at a time. No?

Let us hope that I will be less sore tomorrow and will actually be able to go out for a proper run. It is definitely over due.

Call me crazy

After a day of mulling over the idea, I went ahead and did this:

Please call me crazy for signing up for a half that is 152 days away.

Then I saw this:
I will totally be okay right?


Right???



*silence*...


Training begins tomorrow........*tears*