SF Ending

After a rainy day in Napa yesterday, it was was all sunny rays and smiles this morning in the city. After waking up from delightful slumber, I decide to once again try to run at the Golden Gate park.

What I thought was going to be an okay run through the park turned out to be the most awesome possum run ever! I don't know what it was, be it the sun, the wind, the sheer joy of being somewhere that isn't home, being surrounded by trees, I couldn't help but hold a giant smile when I was running through the park. I felt so much joy while running through the park I wasn't sure how to describe it. Pure unadulterated joy bubbling up from the inside while I pound the asphalt trails. I decided to run up the trail that leads up to Strawberry hill and was greeted by the sight of the Golden Gate bridge and the city that surrounds it. One word. Breathtaking.

I never really quite understood the quote "Life isn't measured by the number of breaths we take, but by the moments that take your breath away." Since I never really had many 'take my breath away' moments, it was always a bit hard to relate to. However today, I think I finally get it.

A date with oneself

After quite the anticipation, I'm currently on my vacation, visiting a childhood friend in SF. Since friend K. had to work an evening shift today, I was free to roam around Golden Gate park and the streets surrounding it.

Cruising around the streets of SF with K. earlier in the morning

I first attempted a light jog through the park but was quickly stunned by the simple beauty of the park and then promptly distracted by all the squirrels that were scattered along all the trails and coming up to me every other minute, with hunger in their eyes, hoping that I would toss them something edible. Like the true athlete I am, I gave up my run and went for a walk instead. I figured if I went slow enough, I'd be able to enjoy the scenery around me and get to bask briefly in the warm Nor Cal sun.

Strolling through the park, listening to quacking/chirping of birds, watching the sparkles reflecting off the surface of the lake, and just being able to walk or sit there to my hearts content was definitely quite the treat. No rush, no time limit, no body to meet. Absolutely perfect.

I realized that travelling alone forces myself to listen to those thoughts inside my head. To listen inwards, to listen to my heart, my instincts, my likes and dislikes....basically just me, myself and I.

It is nice to just have a date with oneself in a while. Not only it can be quite refreshing, but it is surprisingly meditative. I wonder why I don't do this more often?

Since I last posted

Work still is and I think will be crappy for the soon and foreseeable future. I think it is time to rethink my priorities and options that are out there.

Though today was a sucky day with a weather that is quite suitable for moping. I'm gonna give a quick update of the cool stuff that has happened since I last posted.

I ran 5.2 Miles on a long run with a friend!!!! O to the M to the G!!! Longest run yet, and I feel already my legs and hip falling apart. Oh dear. How will I survive 13.1 miles? Eh. One step at a time....right? *nervous laugh*

Anyways, on Sunday, A and I managed to go see the awesomeness that is named Matt Nathanson!

*swoons*

Now if I can just rid myself of this annoyance at my boss and try to see more of the positive-ness in life. It would be just grand.

I also discovered a band that has been around for a while, but are amazing to listen to.

I think I might feel better already.

What doesn't kill you

No more apologies, no more meekness, no more anger.

Workload has been crappy as of late, and I've haven't been holding my own ground when boss woman keeps adding to my work load without thinking what she had previously given me before. Consequently results in my lack of sleep, no running, and a very stressed out me.

But today with 7.5 hours of sleep under my belt and a shit load of work ahead of me, I will be okay.

Good luck to everyone else!

One of Those Days

Today was one of those days where I wish I was here instead of trapped in a building staining cells and wishing my work load would lessen. And no..that person isn't me in the picture.

It is funny how when I'm tired and exhausted that the first couple thoughts that pop into my mind are as follows: when can I go running? will I ever meet a person that likes me and I like them? Will I ever be able to move on from my current position? What will I do with my life?

Questions that don't have immediate answers and usually are those things that I'm suppose to let simply unfold, but like picking at a scab, I just can't help it!

And when I read entries like this at One-twenty-five I just can't help but feel slightly envious and want to do what she is doing with her life. Perhaps if I make that leap into the unknown, I will find my way too. None of this without proper planning first though! Who was that wise person that once said one has to be lost first before they are found?

Perhaps, in this moment I just want to be just that, lost.

Onwards.

Possibility of first of many firsts

Due to my strained calf/muscle/tendon what have you, I thought maybe the shoes that I currently am running in might be the reason that exacerbates the tightness that is reserved especially for my lower left leg.

So, I decided to bite the metaphorical bullet and walk into my local running gear store and ask them to fit me for a pair of running shoes. However, after a quick assessment, and (slightly painful) manipulations on my calf, they sent me out the store with a reference for a masseuse and a cheery wave saying that I should come back after I see her.

Instead of purchasing a new pair of running shoes, I ended up meeting a masseuse and allowing myself to be touched by someone I've never meet before. I have to say, granted it felt weird initially, my masseuse was incredibly friendly and she herself was an accomplished swimmer and runner to boot! During the whole session, not only I got my muscles worked on, I also learned so much more about running races in general.

Now, my whole body just feels like it is on a fluffy cloud and I'm able to walk without feeling tension in my legs. AMAZING! I might just have to start a massage fund on the side so I'll be able to make this a monthly event.

Anyways, prior getting side tracked...what I really wanted to say, from the runner/workers at the local running store, to my masseuse....not only they were generous with their advice to a newbie like me they were all so nice!

Even though I didn't get a new pair of shoes (will get em soon though), I got something even better. AND, maybe the rumor tis true....runners are a bunch of nice people!

Learning

A couple things have been happening during the past couple of days. Somethings aren't mature enough to share, but the situation is looking pretty interesting.

In the midst of all these things happening around me, I remembered a poem that was in a book that a previous friend have gifted me with. I'd like to think, that since then, 3 and half years ago, I've learned and will continue to learn.

Learn with Every Goodbye

Unknown

After a while, you learn the subtle difference

between holding a hand and chaining a soul,

And you learn that love doesn't mean leaning

And company doesn't mean security,

And you begin to learn that kisses aren't contracts

And presents aren't promises,

And you begin to accept your defeats

With the grace of a woman,

not the grief of a child,

And learn to build all your roads on today

Because tomorrow's ground is too uncertain for plans,

And futures have a way of falling down in mid-flight

And after a while, you learn That even sunshine burns if you get too much.

So you plant your own garden

and decorate your own soul,

Instead of waiting for someone to bring you flowers.

And you learn that you really can endure...

That you really are strong

And you really do have worth

And you learn

and learn...

With every goodbye, you learn.