Sunday, November 22, 2009

Weekend Contemplation

During the radio silence here, so much has happened in real life that I can't even begin to comprehend and digest. A couple days ago, I had a conversation with my mother about a friend of mine, and how she though isn't in a steady relationship, she has a companion. Which sparked into a interesting glimpse on how my mother views relationships, sex and the whole package in general.

"Don't be afraid to be lonely" She says. "In your life, there will be times when the only person you see and feel are yourself; don't seek out for another person for body warmth, just enjoy your loneliness."

The strange thing about her saying this is that I already know that, and I've often told myself the same thing, however it was nice to be reminded once in a while by mother that I am on the right track.

Too much socialization, too much waiting on others to do as they promised, and too much distraction going on in my life, preventing me from taking care and paying attention to my self. And once all this outside noise vanishes, all there is that blank silence, quiet enough to drown a person in.

I haven't been lonely in a very long time--friends have been constantly bombarding me with activities, phone calls, visits to random places; this weekend was that time in which the noises surrounding me are settling into the background and I eventually breath in the silence.

The first day I was at loss at what to do with myself. Annoyance and dissatisfaction of my present self was so tangible in the air that I almost snapped at myself for being so annoying.
It also didn't help that roommate, prior leaving for home for the weekend was being naggy and wanting to cleanup the apartment because her bf was to visit soon ( A complete different monster to fight...but we'll save that for another day).

Anyways, suffice to say, I am enjoying the silence in the apartment now and that hopefully I will recover enough by myself today not to snap at my roommate. Eep, okay, it is getting late and I should head off to work and then grocery shopping.

Hope you all are having an enjoyable weekend

Listening to:

Save Me, San Francisco


This site's main theme more so stems from "Grace Kelly" by Mika. There is absolutely no association with Grace Kelly the actress. I only wish I could have 1/2 the grace she possesses on screen. *sighs*