Friday, October 12, 2012


There was a thunderstorm here last night.  Today, everything in view looks so clean and sparkly.  It is as if the rain gave the world a giant shower to rinse away the layer of dust that has been slowly accumulating over the past few months.  The temperature is moderate; slight breeze, and comfortable enough that one doesn't need a jacket.

These are the moments in which I fall in love with this city all over again...when I fall victim to rutts and firmly believe that the city no longer has anything more to offer me.

I'm currently sitting at Peet's; alone and musing.  I've recently had a discovery and insight in regards to W. and my relationship.  I don't think the relationship we have is filled with constant heart accelerations accompanied by butterflies in my stomach doing a chaotic cha cha.  It often feels more as if a steady stream gently trickling along; a few rough patches here and there, sprinkled with little moments that take my breath away.

However, there are moments in which I wonder if our relationship is what I am looking for.  Is there something missing?  Is there something more that I should be seeking?  Am I suppose to be content and happy so early on in a relationship?  I don't think any books I've read or social media that I'm exposed to, mentioned any of this.  Is this NORMAL?

Then from another perspective, I just want to smack my head upside down and inside out.  Why couldn't and shouldn't love be simple, and steady? A constant?  Just because it doesn't have the advertised tons of passion, sex, drama, and bouts of intense longing doesn't make it any less real.  This realization is slightly alarming.  How is it that something that should be normal isn't, and the outliers portrayed by the media and the society around us is perceived as the norm?

If I am thinking this way in regards of love, what other aspects of life have I been influenced by society and social media?  Work?  School?  Life?  Friendship?

Hmmm, I will definitely need to do some more thinking in regards to these matters.  Perhaps this will teach me to think outside of the box and no longer be confined to other people's seemingly definite definitions of what things should be.

Saturday, September 29, 2012

The level up from limbo

For a long while, I was in a state of falling then somehow I dropped into a state of limbo, bobbed around, and now I find myself in a land of not quite limbo, yet not quite productive.

I have about 5 weeks left to study for this next test of mine and pass a test that will be crucial in the next  step in life I would like to take, so currently my life is filled with re-learning math lingo, and re-learning to test.  It is scary to have to put everything down and focus all my energy on this test.  Thoughts of what if's keep running through my head and my only defense is that I try to tone down that distracting volume of thoughts and focus on what is ahead of me. 

Regardless with all the wonky emotions I have, I'm quite satisfied with my current situation, and happy with what is on my plate at the moment.  Sure, there are quite a few things that could be better, but then again, things can be much much worse.

In times like these, I have to remember to realize that I am loved, I have the potential, I just need to work out the process and give it all that I have such that there won't be any regrets.

Friday, August 24, 2012

Cliff Jumping

At the moment, things are a bit stagnant.  I'm coming down from a big high, and I'm finding myself a bit antsy.  This past Sunday, I finished my running goals of 2012.

Running Goals for 2012
·      Run Carlsbad Half Marathon (Jan 22)
·      Run a Warrior Dash (Mar 31)
·      Run La Jolla Half Marathon (Apr 29)
·      Run AFC Half Marathon (Aug 19)
·      Get Triple Crown 2012 medal
·      Volunteer at SD Rock n Roll Marathon

I'm proud, and quite tickled that I actually finished what I listed above (and an 10k) all in one calendar year!  However, just thinking about what lays ahead scares the bezeheesus out of me.  

Quitting one's job while living off on savings in this financial environment literally feels like jumping off a cliff.  Only this time, there is no idea when or where impact with the bottom will occur; or somehow miraculously, one will gain a pair of wings mid fall.  So far, the fall is still on going.  I feel like I might as well embrace it and not struggle too much, perhaps that will give me enough thinking space to actually figure something out.

Perhaps...if I can stop flailing long enough.

Tuesday, August 7, 2012

As the Heart Is

On the life front:

These past couple months have been a roller coaster of events and emotions.  In January, I made up my mind to finally quit my job and move home to study for the GMAT at the end of August.  No job, no income, leave my friends and life here in SD, go home and study.  Simple no?

Alas, things in life are never easy and never go as planned.  Little did I know, March came and brought along a boy (W.) that would steal my heart away and be almost* everything I wished for in a boyfriend.

I knew I was doomed when April, May, and June passed and the more we felt like friends and lovers that have known each other for most of our lives, and yet, just met.  Late June, and early July, we went on a 20+hour road trip to visit his friends and family, and came back with a much deeper appreciation for one another.

Crap. Was the only thought going through my head when in mid July, I was watching August fast approaching on the horizon, knowing that I had to make a decision fast and soon about leaving San Diego.  From the beginning, my parents haven't really approved of this relationship - why?  Because he was of another ethnicity than I was.  I saw a side of my parents that I never thought (believed) they had - racist.  They admit it and are reluctant to budge.  Even the thought of wanting to introduce the boy to the family was met with rejection and disdain.  Sigh.  Keeping this reaction of my parents in mind, I knew there would be no way I'd be able to move home and continue this relationship**.

After quite a few sleepless nights, I decided to still quit my current job, but stay in San Diego for the time being and study here instead.  Yes, I'd be living off of my savings for a few months, but that is a small price to pay for independence and the freedom to see where this relationship would go.  And perhaps, in the mean time, find another job that is slightly less demanding and would allow me an opportunity to be able to enjoy life and prepare myself for the next stage of life.  I can't stay a lab tech forever!

I gave a month's notice last Friday.  My boss was surprisingly supportive and told me that I should go home and think again of my options; she was willing to let me work part time if it came to it.  I told her I would meet again with her in a week and give her my answer.

On the running front:

Oh gawds, the last time I ran was when I was visiting W.'s family in early July.  Since then due to family drama, tired of running, and the stress of making all these big life decisions I have been completely out of commission on the running front.

I have a half marathon coming up in 12 days, with a time limit of 3 hours.  Fudge.   I finally dragged my sorry butt out for a 1 miler since I wasn't quite sure how far I'd be able to make - 11:24 was my time.  Not too shabby I suppose for a month+ hiatus.  Tomorrow, I will be trying for 2 miles.  Wish me luck!

On blogging front:

I will definitely start to update more, now that big things have died down a bit I will be gearing up for studying mode - any type of procrastination is welcomed, right?  Oh dear.

*He is mostly perfect, however still gotta work on a couple things no?  Life is good, but it ain't THAT GOOD.  ;)

**I hope in time, they will eventually accept and see him for him, and not his skin color or heritage background if this relationship does progress in the direction that both W. and I want to see it go.

Wednesday, April 4, 2012

Wednesday, March 28, 2012

Cupid - Daniel Powter

Song of the moment. :)

Running is going strong; I finished my first 10k last week, and will be doing the Warrior Dash later on this week.  I also joined a cross fit gym and despite the all sorts of pain, I'm getting stronger, leaner and becoming a much better runner. One day, I'll work up the courage to run that marathon!

Saturday, March 17, 2012

Simple Pleasures

This was how I spent my rainy afternoon along with episodes of River Monsters after a killer WOD at xfit today.

Simple pleasures.

Now I go bake some apple cinnamon spice cake.

Monday, February 20, 2012

Why I run

"Our running shoes are really erasers. Every step erases some memory of a past failure. Every mile brings us closer to a clean slate. Each foot strike rubs away a word, a look, or an event which led us to believe that success was beyond our grasp." - John Bingham
Why hello there new shoes.  I foresee a lot of running time together in the near future.  

Oh and yes, I'm a penguin.  Why do you ask?  ;)

Saturday, February 4, 2012

Personal Lab

I grew up in a family where children were simply prohibited in the kitchen.  The only job that kids had were to study hard, do the occasional cleaning chore, and make sure that good grades appeared on report cards.

This resulted in a rather startled and bemused reaction on my behalf when I moved out of the dorms into an apartment of my own during my college days.  Cook?  What do you mean cook?  I could boil water, blanche greens and cook rice.  But anything beyond the scope of 3 steps was completely foreign to me.

Luckily, being a science major meant that I would have a lot of practice with set rigid protocols when it came to experiments.  When I realized that recipes were quite similar to work protocols, ecstatic was the only emotion that coursed through me while I thought about the possibilities of creations.

Fast forward 6 years later, I'm still experimenting and the thrill of trying my hand at different recipes has never abated.

At this moment, my fingers smell of bay leaves and lemon.  Garlic, rosemary, and the aroma of meat cooking on stove top permeate the air.

Tonight's experiment?  Pulled pork from pork butt boiled in a dutch oven.

We shall see in a couple more hours.  <3

Sunday, January 29, 2012


My sanctuary.  I definitely need to do this more often.

Monday, January 23, 2012

Officially Half Crazy

My first half marathon was everything I thought it to be and so much more.  Due to not being able to run for the past 2 weeks thanks to travelling and jetlag, I decided to run with my sister and finish our first half together. 
I could go into so much more detail, but I wouldn’t want to bore you with how hungry I was at mile 6 and on and discovering that the promised Gu by the organization by mile 4 and 9 didn’t show, how badly I needed to pee at mile 9 but didn’t want to go because I was “almost there”, and mostly how grateful I am that I have this opportunity to do something pretty insane (okay, half insane, we’ll use the whole word for the full) for myself.
Today, one day after, sore as hell waddling all over the place, I signed up for my second half.  
I will be aiming to run all three half marathons in SoCal this calendar year and earn the Triple Crown metal (Oh Look! 4 for the price of 3!!! I can never resist a good deal)
I think I finally get it.  Get why everyone is so crazy about this sport called running.  It may have started out as a method of cheap weight loss, but it has turned into something much much more.  You name it: stress reliever, pain in the rear (literally and figuratively), alone time, endorphin rush…but most importantly of all - self validation and confidence. 
Hello, my name is Alice, and I am a runner and I hope to see you on the road.

Sunday, January 15, 2012

Drive By


Of course this is totally giving me the opposite effect since I should really be asleep (damn you jet lag), but listening to this just makes me want to get up and dance.

Oye.  So conflicted!

Friday, January 6, 2012

Family Outing

I haven't been running for the past week due to family duties and the weather.  I kinda of miss it and am slightly worried about my half coming up in 16 days.  

However, I'm also determine that I enjoy these days off and spend some time with family.  Dilemma eh?

But after going through the series of pictures I took today during a family outing, somehow it isn't that much of a dilemma anymore.  



This site's main theme more so stems from "Grace Kelly" by Mika. There is absolutely no association with Grace Kelly the actress. I only wish I could have 1/2 the grace she possesses on screen. *sighs*