Saturday, December 31, 2011

Jet Lagged

So I’m currently in Taiwan, jet lagged and debating if I should venture out into the rain to purchase breakfast.

Coming back to the family home has become more and more of a culture shock as time goes by. I use to think that I’m a good traveller. You know, one who makes the best of everything, and language barriers are alright as long as you use English and make your attempt in gesturing. Here in Taiwan, I’m not so much a traveller; in their (relatives and people interacting with) eyes, I’m one of them and should act accordingly.

One thing that has always bothered me, even when I was growing up here, was the obsession that Asian people have regards to weight. If one isn’t stick thin, then they must be fat. So suffice to say, I was the obese chick that came back from the land of obese people.

Yesterday afternoon, when relatives congregated in the living room catching up and just talking about life in general. One of my aunts was telling me how I should start walking like she does, every day for 4km. That way, it will help me lose weight more and be healthier. I looked at her a little funny, and said “Sure, erm, when do you walk again? I’ll join you.”

That afternoon, once we hit the track, I just took off and didn’t look back until I caught up with her again when I started my second lap. We were done “excercising” within the half an hour, since the wind was getting too strong - if I let it, I’d probably be running backwards- and getting dark.

My aunt turns to me and says “Hey you are pretty fast! I’m amazed”

Score one for the plump chick.

Just she waits until I’m fully rested (I was running on 3 1/2 hours of sleep for the past 48 hours and caffeine thanks to jet lag).

P.S. Just to clarify, I don’t see my self as obese. A little plump? Have 30lbs to lose? Yes. But I’ve decided since I started running again in Nov 2011 that I will like my body and the slow weight loss process I am putting it through. I’m done disliking my own body, and I’m done with people telling me what and how I should think in regards to my own body. That is all. :)

Thursday, December 22, 2011

Negative split

This was too cool to not show.

My first true negative split!!!!!!! Hopefully this is the first of many to come.

To Amanda, Thanks for your thoughts and prayers! I appreciate it. :)

Monday, December 19, 2011

Rest in peace Grandpa. I will be home to send you off soon.

I will try not to cry and make sure everyone is alright, especially grandma.

I miss you already and I hope you are in a better place now.

Till we meet again. xo.

Sunday, December 11, 2011

Midnight Musings

It is half an hour past midnight and despite the fact I'm dead tired from work today, all I want to do is to keep myself up and hope that perhaps, I'll have an epiphany and the thoughts that have been swimming around in my head will disappear, if not lighten its' parasitic invasion on my soul.

Dramatic? Perhaps. I blame my zodiac sign. Anyways, carrying on.

A recent (quite big and probably not internet friendly) turn of events has gotten me thinking about leaving this world of science that I've lived and breathed in for the past 11 years behind. Burnt out? Quite so.

I thought that by working in a world that I very much love would propel me forwards towards my goal to become a doctor; a title which would some how give me a sense of accomplishment and justification of all the overtime spent in work, and be used to serve others and helping them get well and navigate this complicated medical system.

But sometimes, maybe things were just not meant to be. You know, like relationships. If one wants to get really technical, this is a relationship as well, a relationship with work. Deep down, you know this relationship isn't going in the direction you wanted to, it is definitely on its' last leg, however at the same time, you just don't quite know how to end it. Or I suppose the other option of whether you have that courage to end it. After all, if things are steady at glance, why rock the boat?

My wise wise mentor told me that if I realize a situation is making me act like not me, then it is not a situation for me to be in no matter how good it sounds. I am not me these days. I feel no pride in what I'm doing with my life. I'm easily annoyed and bristle at events that barely use to bother me. I no longer feel grounded and in touch with my self.

Yea. It is time for a change.

Deep Breath.

I can do this. I can find a new beginning if I want to.

Mind over matter right?

Wednesday, December 7, 2011

Radio Silence

It has been a while since I last posted. Suffice to say, I've missed writing and running. To me, these two activities always go hand in hand. If I've been running, more likely than not, I will be writing posts and documenting my thoughts. People have said that running is meditative, and to me, I have come to realize it rings true--it is a time where I have to myself and able to tune out frustrations from my environment and really listen to the needs of me.

So what broke my previous so called meditative streak? Just one word: Work. Averaging 60 hour work weeks (while only being paid for 40), having multiple responsibilities to juggle on hand while having to deal with all sorts of crazy people can definitely leave one exhausted and ready to crash every evening when one returns home. Not to mention combine with the dark nights, and cold temperatures (high forties late afternoons) are not exactly the best motivation and lead in for a mental peptalk to go out for a run.

The stress from work and lack of exercise lead to eating whatever was in viewing distance and not really thinking about whether consuming said food was a good idea or not. In result, I gained 5lbs. *sigh* And they wonder why the relationship between stress and weight gain is proportional; positive slope all the way baby.

Since Monday, I've decided to pack my own lunches and started eating more healthy snacks and meals. Today, I went out for a short mile run to see if I still gots the running chops that I earned over this past year--and discovered yea, a glimpse of it is still there. Hopefully I will be able to keep this well up into the new year, after all, I have a half marathon to conquer.

Here to hope that I can finish strong this year and start a new year with more confidence than the previous.

Hope everyone is doing well in the blogsphere!


This site's main theme more so stems from "Grace Kelly" by Mika. There is absolutely no association with Grace Kelly the actress. I only wish I could have 1/2 the grace she possesses on screen. *sighs*