Saturday, May 31, 2008


So I'm back in the Bubble this weekend to spend some time with the parents, since I won't be seeing them for a couple weeks after this visit. Had an awesome breakfast with Mother at Mimi's cafe--mhmmm fresh grape fruit juice is sooo good!

On our way home, right before we turned into the community, I saw the greatest thing...a big bad white truck with the license plate 'I'M SNGLE' hahahhahaha I couldn't stop laughing. It was so cute! I think the guy who was driving the truck noticed that I saw his license plate because he kept looking back and checking his rear view mirror watching me I couldn't help it and mouthed back "me too" whilst smiling back. Hopefully I gave him something to smile about for his day.

Ah the bubble, how thee amuses me.

Tuesday, May 27, 2008

Growing up

People who are older than me tell me that I'm in a good position and that as long as I do my job as a student, there is nothing to fear about growing up and moving on into the adult world. However, why do I still fear growing up? These are the times when I wish there was someone there to tell me that it all will be okay and though my fears are not unfounded and that they are benign.

As the eldest child in my family, there aren't a lot of people in which I can confide in nor take advice from that truly understood my hesitations and fears. Sure I ask around for assistance, but that doesn't mean that my fears always strike me at the most convenient times and allows me to call people during those times. After all I don't want to become the clingy one that is stuck with her phone.

I guess what I really have to do is sit down, plan and and suck it up. :) Life is full of different chapters and I hope the best has yet to come.

But....I think all I really want is just a hug and someone telling me to suck it up.

Sunday, May 25, 2008

Memorial Weekend

So recently I've been feeling a bit blue; when I tried to pin point the reason, I realized it was because time was constantly going by so fast that I don't know how or what to do with myself. The pressure of finding a job after graduation, the pressure of having to study and do well, and the pressure of having confidence in what I do began to slowly weigh down on me and I started to feel restless.

Thus with this memorial weekend, I decided to take two days off for myself and enjoy my weekend to the best of my abilities and see if I can place things back into perspective.

Friday began with a rainbow and later that night my friend L. and I went to Bar Pink Elephant in North Park to watch a friend of mine play live. The atmosphere was saturated with alcohol, it was easy to simply get drunk and lost in the mood without even touching any drinks. Came home around 2am and promptly went to bed. Woke up around 9am the next day and proceed to check out the International Food Fair at Balboa Park.

The park itself was jammed pack with people, but all in all it was a good day to have a food fair. In the end, An. and I shared Hungarian sandwiches, Irish Banger, Spanish lemonade and Italian orange sorbet punch. We were so full in the end we had to walk around Balboa Park aimlessly just to try to digest!

Here are the pictures that I actually got of the food before we consumed them:

Spanish Lemonade:
And the Irish Banger:
We felt like two little piggies by the end of the afternoon. :) But it was all good--we redeemed ourselves by going for an evening run a couple hours after. So I guess the caloric intake and output will even out.

I still feel scared at what will eventually come of these two weeks and after finals. But after yesterday and today...somehow all this stress seems slightly more manageable. I guess this is why people need vacations after all. I'll just have to remember to take a deep breath and work at my own pace and rhythm.

Monday, May 19, 2008


A little something something that I picked up around the internet.


The Becoming

I haven't broken down in a while, and haven't really felt the need to break down either. I thought I would after watching this episode of Grey's, however some how I just couldn't sum up the energy to cry. This episode hits way too close to home with the two main story lines; its a good punch to the gut yet at the same time I can't cry.

I broke up with the guy that I've been 'dating' around for a couple months today right after that and I still can't make myself cry even though I desperately want to. Maybe I was just not that into him, but his way of constantly putting me down to justify his actions and switching back and forth in what he wants just flipped all my switches off. To not be considerate of what the other person is feeling is just so disrespectful; no wonder he is having a hard time finding someone. I hope he was so repulsed by me and what I was trying to tell him that he never wants to talk to me again-because I don't think I want to work up the courage to say no to him.

The only consolidation prize I have for myself is that I recognize the signs early and that I know that I don't need nor want any type of this drama stuff that goes on. However disappointed, I am thankful towards him, showing me glimpses of what a relationship can be, what exactly a French kiss is, and taking me out kayaking--things that I never got to do before.

I guess I am slowing becoming the person that I would like to be. But this process isn't easy nor a fast one. The light at end of the tunnel, the goal that I wish to reach remains distant--but I guess it means something that I can still actually see that goal. The road to medicine is such an arduous one already, I just hope I'm more ready and more sure than I am now by the time I knock on its door's.

Thursday, May 15, 2008

Small Harvest

So instead of being relieved of my study duties, and random matters in life I get bombarded with soooo much stuff during my supposed 'two weeks off'.

Not all of the changes are un-welcomed though, however I do admit that if they didn't all come at me at once, these situations would be more welcomed if they came one after another, one at a time. I will have to dive into study mode again soon, but I guess I can write a couple things to get them off my chest first.

Once again, I love my friends, I don't think I would be able to go anywhere without their support. I think before, even if they were available to me, I didn't go to them for I was afraid that I would be rejected. And that I would be burdening them with my thoughts and needs. But I have now learned that friendship is a two-way street; I give and I will be able to receive. I am so thankful for what I have; and I don't know how to. So A, M, M, K, T, L, and D, thank you for listening to me rant, thank you for accepting me as I am and thank you for loving me enough to put up with me. :)

Friday, May 9, 2008

Temporary Relief

So for the next two weeks I will have temporary relief from the pressures of midterm and studying. Not much but, but less intense than before.

Currently nursing a leg cramp from soccer from Wednesday night. Who knew cramps can persist for more than one day. *shrug*

Hopefully in two weeks I will have some good news to report about life in general, and maybe the sun will come out soon. :)

Sunday, May 4, 2008


I have three full pages left to type for my 15 page paper due tomorrow at 4pm

I have three lectures left to study for my midterm tomorrow night at 7pm

I have been studying endlessly for the past 3 days. Barely stepped outside of my house--scratch room for the past 3 days. And all I do is feel like crying right now because I'm tired, and I don't know if I will be able to finish on time and actually be able to pass the midterm with a grade that I will be happy with because I have to spend some time on my paper.

I'm so scared. I'm getting so close to the end, and my time just seems to be flying by. Will I ever be able to do what I wish to do? Do I even want to do this? Am I even capable?

Hopefully this is just the fatigue talking and I will be okay soon.

Saturday, May 3, 2008

Simply Content

It is amazing the things one discovers at 3 am in the morning.

Currently accompanying me whilst I write my 15 page self reflection paper:
Current Crush's picture


Zelda - my baby ipod



Happy Allie <3


This site's main theme more so stems from "Grace Kelly" by Mika. There is absolutely no association with Grace Kelly the actress. I only wish I could have 1/2 the grace she possesses on screen. *sighs*