Monday, December 31, 2007

Reflection of 2007

The year is coming to an end. This year has gone by so fast, and at the same time so painfully slow that it hurts just to think about the amount of things that have happened.

Reflecting on all the drama that went on this year....I cannot help but sigh how far and how much I've been force to grow up during these 365 days. How much perspective I've seen and gained this year. Growing pains to the extreme.

All in all, the year 2007 was an educational one for me, personally, and academically. I just hope in the new year things will begin to look up. :)

Happy New Years everyone. May all your wishes come true.

Tuesday, December 25, 2007

Happy Holidays

Today is Christmas Day. It seems as if the whole world was put on hold for a day--the streets were significantly emptier than usual, and parking lots empty. I felt like I was one of those survivors on 28 days later, walking amidst empty streets in the wind--all I really needed was newspapers flying.

Anyways...It wasn't exactly a joyous day in our household; parental units decided it was a day to hold grudges against each other over something minor. Placing the rest of the family in a very awkward atmosphere, and reducing my siblings and I to messengers..."tell your father this..." "whats for dinner? tell your mom to...." I'm not terribly upset, we don't exactly celebrate Christmas anyways, however it just forced us to observe our parents in a very different light than we use to.

As a teenager, I've always viewed grownups as a more mature form of human beings and therefore they wouldn't dare throw a fit, argue and god forbid act like a child. However, the older I become, the more I realize, it is not the fact that they stop acting such antics, it is just simply they know how to conceal themselves better than they use to (of course there are always the exceptions which do it ALL the time...but for the majority, this applies).

Growing up sucks, and the growing pains never stop. Sure it might leave for a while, but be sure that it will return in full force in another form at a time that one least expects it to.

Thursday, December 20, 2007


Sad but true. Except in my case I know more than one.

Wednesday, December 12, 2007

Temporary Relief

Today is the day I finished my finals. However, somehow I don't feel the wave of relief that usually washes over me as I walk out of the classroom. Instead I feel as if it went by so fast that I haven't even caught a glimpse of anything and before it even got warm in my hands, it slipped through my fingers. Leaving me exclaiming "Wait a minute! Where did you go? Wait...what?"

Such is life. I guess. I can't start over, and I can't start fresh, but gawd dammit I will do it differently the next time I get a chance.

A conversation with H. today left me thinking a lot about our relationship and how it will eventually pan out--if it does. I have to say though it is reassuring that surprisingly we have the same feelings; it doesn't make it better nor easier to listen to those depressing thought voiced by the other person. The distance, the inability to do normal couple things, such as go out to grab coffee, be interested in the same things, have the same circle of friends....etc.

I can be preppy and happy and say that it will work out in the end and that we will be able to enjoy those things when we both reach our goals. But in reality, and honestly, I am as unsure as he is about the future. I need his comfort and him being able to be happy as much as he needs my comfort and me being happy. I wanted to reach out and hug him, and hug myself both at the same time whilst we talked.

Eh, it is getting late. I think I will pull an H. since there is no immediate answer nor solution to our problem best leave it and work with now.

Off to catch what is left of my beauty sleep.

Tuesday, December 11, 2007

I'm still alive

I think I'm still alive. I think.

2 down and 1 more tomorrow.


Friday, December 7, 2007


Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh it is FRIDAY ALREADY!

I'm so doomed and screwed. I hope I make it out of this alive.

Monday, December 3, 2007

Type A personality

Internet descriptions say that I am a type A personality.

Really? Because with my lack of motivation and lack of performance academically, I really would beg to differ.

I thought I had a glimpse of what I want, and what I would like to do, except for the fact that every time final rolls around I am suddenly at loss again. It sucks to have that feeling of loss of self control and that feeling of when everything suddenly becomes too much, to oh so tempting-ness of just letting go would bring.

But I guess now isn't the time for lament and to feel sorry for myself. Maybe I can have a feel sorry fest for me after my finals...but for now, I'll just have to toughen up and trudge on.


This site's main theme more so stems from "Grace Kelly" by Mika. There is absolutely no association with Grace Kelly the actress. I only wish I could have 1/2 the grace she possesses on screen. *sighs*