Sunday, January 9, 2011

Happy New Years....sorta?

Another year past and another supposed new beginning. A moment like this should be relief, should be happiness, and should be anticipation of what is to come...however the only thought on my mind is death. Well, death, and the uncertainty that the future might bring. A very close friend of mine is currently battling cancer, and if the cancer progresses at the rate it does, there is a possibility I won't be able to see her in future milestones that we are suppose to reach.

The thought saddens me and I am quite unsure of the role that I am suppose to play in this whole ordeal. Aside from being supportive, trying to tell her to take care of herself, I don't know what else to tell her. Realistically speaking that is as much as I can do as a friend, no more, no less. It sucks, with a realization like that. At the moment, I can only remain and hope she remains as optimistic as she is now

While browsing Facebook today, I saw a link of Bill Zeller, and his suicide note. His detailed account of his reasoning for taking his own life and the darkness that he felt overshadowed his life brought tears to my eyes. There are so many situations in this life that sometimes aren't noticed nor addressed in the manner they need to be, and all that is left in the present of the past is an overwhelming need to ask "what if" and "if only."

I pray that Bill Zeller's soul will find peace in wherever he is currently located, my friend will find strength and the will to fight against this ugly disease of hers, and lastly, may I find peace within myself while seeing and hearing the injustices in life.

My goals this year include:

May I not take this new year for granted.
May I treat people with more kindness, and less judging.
May I retain the patience to deal with difficult and uncomfortable situations that arise.

Hope you guys are so far having a great new year.

Hello 2011, I'm ready for you.

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*disclaimer*

This site's main theme more so stems from "Grace Kelly" by Mika. There is absolutely no association with Grace Kelly the actress. I only wish I could have 1/2 the grace she possesses on screen. *sighs*