Sunday, October 17, 2010


The past couple of weeks have been not only a blur, but also a complete shut down of anything fun, social, and relaxing. Somehow amongst all the chaos, I manage to squeeze in a Vegas weekend and a night to do laundry. I have to say, looking back, I'm quite impressed with myself. The only small thing that would have made me more impressed would be if I had prepared all the food I needed for lunch and not had to buy lunch from the Cafeteria.

As I write this now, the fried rice for lunch this coming week is done, grapes are currently sitting in the sink waiting to be drained, and I am here, sitting on my couch waiting for the beets to cook. The pulsing of the dishwasher joined with the steady rhythm of beets boiling makes a soothing melody for an exhausted soul.

One thing that has been freaking me out as of late is the sudden explosion of friends getting engaged, married, or having babies. If I’m honest with myself, it feels as if they are passing swimmingly by in their life, making the milestones one right after each other whilst I stay stationary, hovering on my own road. Concurrently, I also envy and wish that there was that someone for me. Someone who accepts and loves me as who I am, who will tell me its okay to feel pain, but I will work through it because he knows I can; most of all, someone that just gets me. But my friends have that, and I don’t—that is the current hard fact and there is nothing I can do for myself at the moment but to accept it.

Two girls who I held dear to my heart, found their counterparts and then disappeared from my life. It was almost as if our friendship was only a temporary filler. I suppose, close friends are just not to be destined to be a constant in my life either. I will survive being alone, but it doesn't mean that I like to.

I don't know what is to come in the upcoming months and it scares me a little bit. As always, there is much to do, and little time. This whole working the whole year and no break is definitely taking its toll. All I can do is pray for the end, and hopefully there will be a little bit of sunshine during this week.

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This site's main theme more so stems from "Grace Kelly" by Mika. There is absolutely no association with Grace Kelly the actress. I only wish I could have 1/2 the grace she possesses on screen. *sighs*