Life

Life sucks at the moment. Doesn't matter what angle I'm looking at it, it is just a Effing huge basket of lemons.

Boo.

Happy New Years....sorta?

Another year past and another supposed new beginning. A moment like this should be relief, should be happiness, and should be anticipation of what is to come...however the only thought on my mind is death. Well, death, and the uncertainty that the future might bring. A very close friend of mine is currently battling cancer, and if the cancer progresses at the rate it does, there is a possibility I won't be able to see her in future milestones that we are suppose to reach.

The thought saddens me and I am quite unsure of the role that I am suppose to play in this whole ordeal. Aside from being supportive, trying to tell her to take care of herself, I don't know what else to tell her. Realistically speaking that is as much as I can do as a friend, no more, no less. It sucks, with a realization like that. At the moment, I can only remain and hope she remains as optimistic as she is now

While browsing Facebook today, I saw a link of Bill Zeller, and his suicide note. His detailed account of his reasoning for taking his own life and the darkness that he felt overshadowed his life brought tears to my eyes. There are so many situations in this life that sometimes aren't noticed nor addressed in the manner they need to be, and all that is left in the present of the past is an overwhelming need to ask "what if" and "if only."

I pray that Bill Zeller's soul will find peace in wherever he is currently located, my friend will find strength and the will to fight against this ugly disease of hers, and lastly, may I find peace within myself while seeing and hearing the injustices in life.

My goals this year include:

May I not take this new year for granted.
May I treat people with more kindness, and less judging.
May I retain the patience to deal with difficult and uncomfortable situations that arise.

Hope you guys are so far having a great new year.

Hello 2011, I'm ready for you.

New PR

Yei!!!!! 12:47 minutes a mile!

Not too shabby for a new run after being out for a week thanks to illness. Go go go!

Running update

So at the thought of not wanting to break training despite illness, I went on an easy run today. A couple minutes in, I felt I could push a bit, but as I started to increase speed I starting having weird stomach cramps so I slowed down and trotted at turtle pace for the remaining run.

2.01 miles in 35 minutes. Definitely taking it easy. :)

Alright, off to shower and bed. Must not be late to work tomorrow or D. will have my head.

Tittering on the edge of illness

For the past couple of days I've been skimming on the edge of a viral infection thanks to my boss who graciously shared her virus while working together in her office. But hopefully by staying home and doing almost close to nothing today would be enough to ward it off for a while. Sleep, staying warm, and doses of propalis will be my attempt at keeping this stupid virus at bay.

With the combination of not feeling well, it definitely makes it hard to go out and run...I'm afraid that if I do push again I will just end up spending the next two weeks trying to recover from a cold. SIGH. I resent winter occasionally, I mean seriously, I live in Sol Cal where it is suppose to be sunny and nice ALL THE TIME, what is wrong with this weather?

Anyways, after working on work at home for a couple of hours, I decided to bake me some blueberry muffins. How they turn out? I don't know, I'm currently waiting for them to cool down for me before I even attempt to taste one--one too many burnt tongues will definitely teach ya. Verdict: A bit too much lemon but overall has a nice crunchy and moist contrast. 7.5 out of 10.

Alrighty, shower and bed!

Push my buttons and I will explode

I am surprised that I even lasted so long. Little to no dinner last night, and then a 8 hour work day power fueled by 2 cups of tea, and 2 bagels with a bit of cream cheese--with no rest in between. I was ravenous when I got home, and on the brink of a mental meltdown if I didn't shove food down my throat asap. But meltdown mode I went since A. insisted on confronting me on a disagreement we had last night, even though I warned her to let me eat first. After a handful of slamming doors, tears (on her part), I shoved food down my throat grudgingly and pissed off as hell.

Now, a couple hours later, where the sugar has been properly absorbed and my stomach is satiated I'm still annoyed buy also extremely aware at how exhausted I am. Yet at the same time, I can't ring myself to shower, and go to bed. I fell like I should be doing something....what? I don't know.

My day started out with Mumford and Sons at the local Starbucks with the really cute red head barista; only fitting that end my day having the Mumford and Sons lure me to sleep.

No running, hopefully I'll be able to get out tomorrow! G'night ya'll

Saturday

I spent a good part of this morning toting visiting scholars from Taiwan (from work) around town to the fish market (that was more than a little bit disappointing), and to Balboa Park. For the whole duration of the morning, all I could hear was blah, blah, blah, and more blah. I think I'm becoming more and more disconnected with the Taiwanese society, such that their behavior grates on my nerves a bit.

The wife, who is a petite tiny little thing, wanted to take a picture with me. But what really got on my nerves was the fact when we started to pose for the picture, she hid about 80% of her body behind me instead of standing side by side with me. Now, I'm by no means huge, but the mentally of having to look "tiny" with me and doing whatever she could to make her self look "good" to appear great in the picture irritated me to no end. I suppose If I didn't know the Taiwanese/Asian mentality of girls in which they have to look tiny and are willing to go extremes to look skinny no matter the cost, it wouldn't have bothered me as much--at moments, I wanted to scream, you are in freaking AMERICA! STOP IT. But such is life, I'm just glad today was a lesson learned and no longer will I ask them to accompany me on my social outings.

I stopped running for the past two days, and today I gently eased back into it again and I was surprised how easily my body adjusted to the workout. 16miles down, and only 14 more miles to log before the end of this month! I told myself that if I find my self running still when December pasts, I will gift myself with a new pair of running shoes! Speaking of shoes, drools, there are so many pairs of shoes to die for this season! Pumps, heels, boots, and sneakers! Why am attracted to so many things??? They aren't even shiny!

Hopefully by next summer, I'll feel the most comfortable in my own skin than I ever have been, and squeeze into a wetsuit with no problem. Go! Go! Go!