Wednesday, July 9, 2008

On Hold

Facebook is a catalyst for depression if one already has the slight tendency of being depressed and stressed. Going through facebook tonight I realized that my life is currently on hold in comparison to my friends from high school. My friends are moving on to graduate school, moving on to work, and some are already getting married and planning on starting a family.

Me, on the other hand am studying for the MCATs right now and along side of that taking a class. That gives me absolutely no amount of time to rest to have fun with friends nor working out to feel good about myself. And when I am stressed, I begin to have a lot of morbid thoughts. Such as how my ex is living his life and is so much happier without me (possibly getting into Med school and constantly hanging out with two girls....basically living it), and how my last date was such a miserable person and that how he would make cruel comments about me. I don't understand why I base my self value at the mercy of others--especially those who are not important in my life anymore. Maybe this self abusing tendency is one that tends to have when one is down. Maybe this is what I have to learn to deal with before I even start thinking about other relationships.

But before I do any of that...I have to finish rememorizing the 20 amino acids.

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This site's main theme more so stems from "Grace Kelly" by Mika. There is absolutely no association with Grace Kelly the actress. I only wish I could have 1/2 the grace she possesses on screen. *sighs*