Fatigue

The soreness from yesterday's yoga is definitely carrying through and every raising movement I have my arms do make me wince and hiss. I suppose this really means that I stretched my muscles good yesterday! Hopefully this elasticity will be ingrained in muscle memory and today's rest will only mean that I will be able to do more next time.

Due to fatigue, I forgo-ed today's run. >_< I will definitely get back on the treadmill tomorrow!!! My goal for this month will be running for a total of 30 miles. Assuming that I will keep the current pace up through Thanksgiving festivities I will definitely make it!

Go! Go! Go!

Recently at work, it has been an interesting ride; ex supervisor constantly dropping in left and right, co workers getting vacation whenever they wish for, and some co-workers slacking their ass off while getting praised and me on the other side working and just looking at them in bewilderment. Life can be a bit biased at times.

Hopefully the pendulum of fairness will swing my way soon. Sigh. Till then, Allie, just keep running, writing, reading and staying true to yourself!

Yoga = Soreness

Today, instead of running, I went to do Bikram Yoga. Yoga totally kicked my butt. Returning from a hiatus of 2 weeks and jumping in after a night of partying at friend's wedding does not equal a very happy body.

For the most part I was able to make it through the class, but after class I just felt like a puddle of jelly, and muscle soreness in every fiber I possess. Blah. Tomorrow it will be a toss up between going to yoga again or getting my ass out there/on a treadmill and running again. In all honesty, I would much prefer running, however I bought a couple classes and they do need to be used up soon, dilemmas dilemmas.

I suppose it all depends on how everyone else (I have buddies) feels by the end of the day.

Aside from soreness, I manage to clean up the apartment, do laundry, and bake an apple cinnamon cake with cream cheese frosting! Yum.

Hope ya'll had a great day!

Update

Today I don't have much to say. Other than the fact that I am exhausted from work and working out for the past couple of days. I feel a bit weak that my body is caving so easily. Is this because I am not sleeping normal hours?

Hopefully this will change tomorrow...except tomorrow is the big day for a friend of mine and I have to go early to help set up for his wedding. Poohie, I hope I don't dissolve into a puddle of mush and cranky-ness from being too tired.

That and I really really need to find time to go do more yoga.

Off to bed.

NaBloPoMo

Well, apparently when I heard about NaBloPoMo, it is already 4 days in. I suppose minus 4 entries in a month wouldn't be too bad; that and I suppose I can make it up by blogging 4 days into Dec. :)

Anyways, I decided to start running again thanks to Ben, from Ben Does Life, and Dr. Mama. I suppose starting to ease myself back to the running business is a bit hard, but with inspiration from those two cool cats, it would be a shame on me if I didn't at least gave it a go...again.

Last time when I started, I just ended a painful and depressing 7 year relationship. Overweight and depressed, I knew I had to do something to help myself get out of that funk and make it easier to breathe, so after reading Dr. Mama's posts, I ran.

This time, I am doing it for myself, for my health and for vanity. I want to wear a size 6 dress and not have to worry about sucking my tummy in or have to try to avoid the camera as much as I can. I want to be able to say, "yea I did a 5 mile run today, it felt good" in conversations. But most of all I want to look fucking amazing for once during my twenties (and keep it up), not just cute/adorable (the most common compliment I receive when I go out).

The logging of miles started this past Monday, 4.75 miles and counting.

Wish me luck bloggy world!

Hollow.....thoughts

People say that time heals all wounds, and the pain that associates will gradually fade. It has been a couple months and the sadness and helplessness still vibrates through every fiber of my being. Strange isn't it? Or are we just saying a couple months just isn't enough for pain and the helplessness that one feels to fade?

What do I want? I think part of me is envious at my friends who have something that I don't have and know I definitely cannot force--a relationship. It also doesn't help that said friends feel like that once they have their new buddy (significant other) they are free to just disappear from my life.

Sigh, I'm being whiny as of late, but I suppose I have also earned my right to due to large work load. I want this to stop! Work Karma pulease!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Such a Pretty Face

I just finished reading the book, Such a Pretty Face, by Cathy Lamb and all I want to do is cry. Cry for the fictional characters, cry for their lives, and cry tears of joy for the lives that they will hopefully lead.

I'm a sucker for happy endings. I'm a firm believer that good always, ALWAYS triumphs evil in the end, but sometimes the process of getting there kind of sucks. I can't but help but think about her struggles compared to mine. The one problem that stems from fluctuations of self confidence, self image, and I think most of all, self love.

It is amazing how we are all different, yet so similar when we are bound by the structure dictated by society.

Hopefully, one day, I too will have my happy ending.

Anticipation

The past couple of weeks have been not only a blur, but also a complete shut down of anything fun, social, and relaxing. Somehow amongst all the chaos, I manage to squeeze in a Vegas weekend and a night to do laundry. I have to say, looking back, I'm quite impressed with myself. The only small thing that would have made me more impressed would be if I had prepared all the food I needed for lunch and not had to buy lunch from the Cafeteria.

As I write this now, the fried rice for lunch this coming week is done, grapes are currently sitting in the sink waiting to be drained, and I am here, sitting on my couch waiting for the beets to cook. The pulsing of the dishwasher joined with the steady rhythm of beets boiling makes a soothing melody for an exhausted soul.

One thing that has been freaking me out as of late is the sudden explosion of friends getting engaged, married, or having babies. If I’m honest with myself, it feels as if they are passing swimmingly by in their life, making the milestones one right after each other whilst I stay stationary, hovering on my own road. Concurrently, I also envy and wish that there was that someone for me. Someone who accepts and loves me as who I am, who will tell me its okay to feel pain, but I will work through it because he knows I can; most of all, someone that just gets me. But my friends have that, and I don’t—that is the current hard fact and there is nothing I can do for myself at the moment but to accept it.

Two girls who I held dear to my heart, found their counterparts and then disappeared from my life. It was almost as if our friendship was only a temporary filler. I suppose, close friends are just not to be destined to be a constant in my life either. I will survive being alone, but it doesn't mean that I like to.

I don't know what is to come in the upcoming months and it scares me a little bit. As always, there is much to do, and little time. This whole working the whole year and no break is definitely taking its toll. All I can do is pray for the end, and hopefully there will be a little bit of sunshine during this week.